I have a tendency to get distracted by things in the periphery. In school this was called ADHD and was often a struggle. I have learned that this tendency can, at times, be a strength because it also means I see the things in the periphery. In photography this weakness is a needed skill.
A well-composed landscape shot often contains a compelling element in the foreground, middle ground, and background. While photographers make use of artistic principles such as the rule of thirds and leading lines to compose a picture, they are generally restricted to what is before them in reality. I love nature photography because the scene I capture is not one I create but rather frame. I use technology to artistically portray what is in nature by changing my angle and position.
While I have found some uses for my habitual instability of focus and many techniques for overcoming the challenges, I find that I must continually work to keep my priorities in order. I have them clearly laid out in my head (God, family, work, community) but sometimes the lines get blurry while trying to practice this ideal in my day to day life. Am I giving my son enough attention, without smothering him or removing needed independence and responsibility? Am I giving too much time to the intellectual work I enjoy and not enough to the organization and care of my home? Where does my photography business fit on the scale of priorities?
In some ways this little hobby turned business has been a blessing for our family life. It gets us outside and exploring, my husband and I connect over the images and I do make a bit of money on the venture. However, I also sometimes disconnect from those around me while shooting, editing photos or writing and this causes me to question this use of time.
Where is Mom?
Recently, I was reminded that space to grow is good and important. My family functions best when we are all allowing each other to grow as individuals walking together, laughing together, and centering each other on Christ. I have learned that loving my son and husband well requires a willingness to correct the course when necessary, but also giving them the freedom to make the correction. I also have had to learn to be comfortable giving myself a certain bit of freedom while trusting that those who love me will step in if they see me adrift. There is something very freeing in acknowledging that a work is still in progress, incomplete and growing. I often catch myself praying for big picture clarity and direction. However, when I narrow my focus, I realize all God is really asking of me is to see the beauty of a each particular moment, completing only the task at hand and trusting that the journey will end in unity with Him.
